We’re in the midst of a social media-stalking epidemic. Fortunately, there is help.
KillSwitch removes every trace of your ex from Facebook. No kissy-face photos, no pictures of his dumb face every time you log in—no temptation. Make sure you’re REALLY ready to make the kill, though, because once you enable the app, you lose everything your ex was tagged in. The coolest part? Killswitch donates some of the proceeds to the American Heart Association. Consider it the one good thing to come out of your relationship with that dill-hole.
Block Your Ex brings out the big guns. It’s a browser-based plugin that shuts down all updates from your ex’s Twitter, Facebook and blog accounts, all in one digital swoop. Your little corner of the web can be squeaky clean for up to five exes.
If you’re trying to ween yourself off your addiction, there’s Eternal Sunshine — a plugin exclusively for Google Chrome. It works exclusively with Facebook to make your ex vanish without dramatically unfriending him or her. The best part of Eternal Sunshine? No more gut-wrenching friend suggestions. Presto, no more ex-o!
But let’s be honest, would a shock collar keep Sarah from visiting her ex’s Twitter account everyday? “Probably not,” she admitted. And you know what? I don’t think it would stop David, either.
“He blocked me on Snapchat,” Sarah says. “He thinks I don’t notice, but sometimes he’ll add me again just to look at my story, and then block me again.”
Sarah’s own ghost is haunting her. In fact, all of our exes are very likely watching us, just as we’re keeping tabs on them. Though social media may seem less risky than driving over to their homes and dropping off a mix of love ballads, the convenience of social media is the truly destructive part of it—allowing us to return time after time. Like with any drug addiction, we have to want to make the change.
Stockton describes the biggest benefit of learning to let go: “At the end of the day, heroin and/or Instagram aren’t going to order Grubhub with you on a Friday night. Only letting go and making new meaning for yourself outside of your previous relationship will get you back on the couch with a more rewarding partner.”
*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the guilty party (read: douchebag).